“I just couldn’t have sex because it was too traumatic for other people to touch my body. When you can’t deal with gender dysphoria, sex feels a lot more like something to dissociate to than truly enjoy.”
“This also makes those creepy fetish comments particularly brutal.”[Citation].
Reading this essay by Ana Valens I’m struck by just how toxic the ideologies that have infested the lives of transgender women really are. I’m glad that I never bought into the “fetish” thing. In fact, I did just the opposite. I not only allowed men to fetishize me when I lived as a trans woman — I encouraged it.
“I’ve tried. I’ve dated. I’ve been in love three times. But it’s hard. I had my sex reassignment surgery in 1997, and I thought my life would change drastically. It got better, but my love life dissipated. When I had a penis, before my operation, men were attracted to me because of that. When you hear “trans,” you want a girl with a penis, not a girl with a vagina. Now that I have a vagina, they don’t want me.”[Citation]
Men wanted a smooth girl with breasts and a penis. I played right into their fantasies and had some mind-blowing sex as a result.
This is yet another one of the glaring failures of trans women trying to fit themselves into a binary world of male and female. Because that’s not what we were ever intended to be.
One of these days I’ll spill all the details of my juicy five month romance with a man while living in Portland.
“But at the same time, Maria is stuck in a time loop of sorts. She wants to go back to the past, wake herself up, and transition sooner.”[Citation]
I learned about the “time loop” early in my transition while living in Pittsburgh. The prettiest transsexual I had met there suffered from eternal sorrow that she hadn’t transitioned early enough in life.
No amount of surgeries or medical intervention would ever make people like her happy.