Being an activist for a cause is a lot like being a sales person. You of course have to have a viable product or products. And to be a really good sales person you should have a demonstrated belief in what you’re selling. That’s where transgender activism all went wrong for me. I couldn’t even get myself to believe in many of the ideologies that I was selling to the public for the cause because of what I was seeing in the not-so-well-hidden background.
“With few exceptions, black transgender women and men say that they get more hatred from black people than anyone else, even though they have been on the front lines protesting issues that affect all African-Americans.”[Citation]
While violence against trans women of color is certainly a valid and important issue; the truth is most of it comes from their own African American community, or other communities of color. Trans women of color themselves admit this. But the violence against them by their own ethic group is used by the trans community as a whole in the form of an activism tool.
During the 3 1/2 years that I lived as a trans woman, the only time that anyone threatened me with actual violence that I thought was imminent was when a forty-something white trans woman threatened to punch me in the face. This occurred in a restaurant that catered almost solely to the LGBT community in Pittsburgh. A so-called “safe space”. This late transitioning biologically male person who identified as a woman threatened to hit me because I stated that I wouldn’t tolerate a sex worker living next door to me because it would bring undesirable people into my neighborhood and harm the residents. I feared the violence from this person because of their male biology.
“The weekend fatal shooting of a teen at an apartment complex near downtown Athens was the culmination of a feud between two transgender groups, Athens-Clarke County police confirmed Wednesday.”[Citation]
The annual trans woman of color body count is another one of those areas where trans activism is grossly disingenuous, because it never mentions that some of the deaths of trans women occurred because other trans women killed them. How much worse can the lying get than that if you omit that fact in your reporting or writing?
“Second, regarding any crime, male-to-females had a significantly increased risk for crime compared to female controls (aHR 6.6; 95% CI 4.1–10.8) but not compared to males (aHR 0.8; 95% CI 0.5–1.2). This indicates that they retained a male pattern regarding criminality. The same was true regarding violent crime. By contrast, female-to-males had higher crime rates than female controls (aHR 4.1; 95% CI 2.5–6.9) but did not differ from male controls. This indicates a shift to a male pattern regarding criminality and that sex reassignment is coupled to increased crime rate in female-to-males. The same was true regarding violent crime.”[Citation]
But admitting this unsavory detail about male violence however points to the fact that trans women can’t stop being involved in male violence anymore than they can shed their male biology.
“According to North Carolina court records, Henderson, who was registered as Long in that system, was convicted in 2008 of prostitution and served a one-and-a-half month jail sentence.”[Citation]
This type of trans activism also always fails to tell the public that a lot of the dead were sex workers, working in dangerous neighborhoods. You don’t see feminists using dead cisgender female prostitutes operating in drug infested neighborhoods to make their case that men frequently commit violence against women, but the trans community does it all day, everyday. And the media doesn’t call them out for it either. In fact, the media outlets are often complicit.
“I had been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for some time until I had no choice but to halt my journey when some side effects had proven too much a risk to both my physical and mental wellbeing to continue.”[Citation]
Likewise, I ran into problems while trying to be a sales person for cross-sex hormone therapy (XHT). I hit a snag with it because it wasn’t even working for me. Four years later I still look like the same male, but now have two small breasts.
Eventually, I finally figured out the high doses of estrogen were what was causing frequent bursting of blood vessels in my eyes whenever I got stressed out. I ended up in the emergency room with swollen legs and feet, getting tested for blood clots. At times I felt tired, weak, and even sick while trying to achieve “normal female” hormone levels. I can’t be a sales person for something that did all of this to me. My conscience won’t allow me to.
“My genitals don’t work, my nose doesn’t work, my forehead doesn’t move,” she told WKYC Channel 3’s Monica Robins.”[Citation]
“Of the 11 procedures performed, Weitzer said she thinks four of them met her expectations.”[Citation]
The same goes for transgender surgeries, which are claimed to cure gender dysphoria and confirm being a member of the opposite sex for the person getting them. It’s total garbage. I refuse to be a sales person for these surgeries because everywhere I look I see trans or non-binary people being harmed. Again, my conscience and my morals won’t allow me to participate in selling this.
“It wasn’t a lack of support from family, friends or school officials that led to Emelia’s death, her mother said. “It was suicidal depression,” she said.”[Citation]
Nor could I continue to sell the idea that trans people commit suicide because of the way society treats us. I couldn’t sell this in good faith because the media articles I studied often demonstrated suicides that occurred despite the person being completely supported in their transition and about their trans status. But my fellow activists would just keep claiming that society did it. The reality is that comorbid mental illness was to blame.
It’s pretty deceptive to first claim that a trans person should get hormones because their mental illness issues are separate from their gender issues, but then later claim their suicide was because of the way society treated them as a result of their transgender status.
“These children sometimes resort to self-mutilation to try to change their anatomy; the other two journal reports note that some face verbal and physical abuse and are prone to stress, depression and suicide attempts. Spack said those problems typically disappear in kids who’ve had treatment and are allowed to live as the opposite sex.“[Citation]
Similarly it’s just as fraudulent to claim that mental health problems go away because someone’s gender has been confirmed and because they’ve gotten puberty blockers or hormones from a gender clinic. I can’t be involved in selling these lies.
“The world was difficult for him. On bad days he had hallucinations, couldn’t manage the voices in his head and couldn’t escape them, even though he tried. He had a complicated mental health diagnosis.”
“Anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder,” she says. “We were dubious about schizophrenia.”
“He had, she says, already ended his hormone therapy because of his mental health issues.”[Citation]
Over and over again I’ve witnessed that no matter how many other serious factors there were contributing to our suicide rate, the trans community would spin the deaths and blame societal issues. I just can’t participate in this.
“This is a post that’s been a long time coming. 19 years of depression, give or take. It’s been long and brutal and full of a lot of tears and angst and it’s finally coming to a close. 10 days ago I purchased a shotgun and today, after the required California waiting period, I picked up that shotgun. A few of you have seen me offer up countdowns and references to October 1st at around noon; that was my nod towards this outcome.”
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to say here. I’ve turned over the words in my head for a little over a week now and I’m still not sure how to find that balance between “TL;DR” and “here’s why I put a 00 buckshot shell into the roof of my mouth”.”
“Initially my plan was to go into detail about my pains, waxing laborious about my struggles with transition (I shouldn’t have done it. Not because I’m not trans, but because I didn’t have a fraction of the personal strength to succeed at it, unlike some of the amazing trans people I’ve been privileged to know), my physical struggles (heat sensitivity, and more recently hair loss), or my mental pain (I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.).”[Citation]
It’s like no matter how many bodies pile up from this idea that we can turn ourselves into members of the opposite sex, the trans activists just keep selling the fallacy that transition works and fixes everything. As a person who counts the dead, I can’t sell this stuff and be an activist for it.
“In the spring I was hospitalized because of the toxic environment and relationships I was experiencing, at home and at school, with my family and my peers. During this time, the inner turmoil of confusion over my identity only escalated. I went through several identities, sometimes changing every two weeks, from pansexual to lesbian, genderqueer, bigender, and genderfluid. Finally, in the summer before 10th grade, I discovered I was transgender.”[Citation]
“Skylar started chronicling his journey on YouTube in 2014, even admitting he was going to start getting testosterone shots without his parents’ knowledge. Friends say it is believed he may have received early shots from a friend who is also transgender, though Joanne eventually allowed Skylar to get hormone therapy legally. For six months he chronicled his transition online, but his attitude changed dramatically.”
“I’m still noticing social changes and how people are talking to me and treating me in my early days of transition,” Skylar said on YouTube. “I feel like I’ve been getting more uncomfortable around people.”
“Avi also recalls Skylar growing more unhappy.”
“No matter how much I change, they’ll still see me as a girl,” Skylar once posted. “And that’s hurtful.”
“By the end of September, Skylar ended his life at a public park. His suicide note appeared on his blog on Tumblr as a scheduled post, long after he was gone.”[Citation]
I was just as bad of a sales person at selling the idea that we all know at young ages that we’re really girls or boys, trapped in the wrong bodies, and really members of the opposite sex. The gender clinicians and the media are free to peddle this hogwash to the masses, but I simply can’t sell it. Because it’s not true. I need truth in my advertising. I require ethics in my sales practices.
“Transgender activists have sent threats of violence and death to women, academics, researchers, feminists, and rape survivors, and pressed false charges.”[Citation]
The same goes for all the threats of violence and vicious discourse over any form of potentially negative research or debate. I simply can’t be involved in anything that’s defended by death threats against researchers or recommends violence against those who merely have a different opinion. Because it opens up the embarrassing question of: what exactly is it that we’re scared of them saying or finding out?
So the reason I’ve quit being a transgender activist is because I simply ran out of legitimate products and ideologies to sell. And I quit selling all of these trans ideologies and talking points and instead started telling and selling the truth as I see it. I feel a lot better doing this. Because while activists are free to sell the harms of living a lie, I find the burden of telling lies to be far worse. Plus, like everyone else, I have to be able to sleep at night.